The Complete Guide to Saying No.

Spoiler Alert: there isn't one.

In a world bombarded with options topped with more options wrapped in choices and served on a platter of more choices with a cherry on top, you either become one of those people who say no before they think about it, say yes before they think about it, or in my case have a mental breakdown.

I remember some of the truly cool conversations I've had with my dad over the years. A few of them regarding a time when things seemed, felt or actually were simpler (note: simpler doesn't mean all around better. Paying $0.05 for an ice cream soda is nice, but not being allowed into the ice cream parlor to spend your hard earned $0.05 on said ice cream soda is not.)

One of the many things that make my dad's younger years seem so wonderful to those of us troubled over our recent years and romanticizing the past is the minimal amount of choices they had back then. You wanted toothpaste, you walked to the mom & pop pharmacy around the corner and bought maybe one of two brands. Today, the same brand provides you with twenty options ranging from a paste to make your teeth five shades whiter to one that grows new teeth (exaggerating here.) It's nuts.

So, how do you make a decision when time is moving faster than the speed of your inhale and you are staring up the Great Wall of Toothpaste and your breath really stinks and you really just want to go home, brush your teeth and continue with a day that's already running away from ya? You say fuck this and you pick one. Any one. That's reasonably priced.