When we hold questions in our minds that never make it out of our mouths, what becomes of us? When we think thoughts we share freely in spaces not so free, what becomes of us? When we take actions not congruent with our beliefs simply because we were not thinking or we felt pressured or... What become of us when we lose ourselves?
As I sit at my desk this beautiful dark morning, I find this question lingering... What becomes of us?
I had a beautiful night out, the other day, with some maybe new found friends and my love, and it was wonderful in that conversation flowed freely (almost) and when I looked around the table of this bar/pub/restaurant place in Robertson Quay that we chose to congregate in, I noticed how sweetly diverse our group was and it pleased me that we could talk women's rights, political leaders, science fiction, the state of the world as we currently know it, free masons :) and hazing, all while chugging pints of Guinness and taking the piss out of everyone at the table, literally. And before we knew it, egged on by our friendly Irishman, we broke into song and had our own little impromptu karaoke party. It was lovely.
Then, the bill came.
The thought, at least in my mind, was that we were all splitting whatever this crazy bill was going to come out to, until it became clear that we were not doing that.
Turns out that hubby's colleague had decided to foot part of the bill (for the hometown colleagues that were invited out) except, we weren't aware of when this decision was made. So, hubby puts down his card and the expensive bill was split between the two men (minus a little for a group of extra guests who decided to join us toward the end of the night.)
Our guests were beyond grateful and really wanted to pay their part, but it was already settled so that was that.
Why am I writing about this, you ask? Well, I got back to our place and I wondered why I said nothing. We weren't planning on doing what just happened, and I played a part in letting it happen. Why? Should I have chimed in politely (since my husband and I share one pocket) and asked that we please split this bill among all of us? Should I have asked that my love's colleague cover a 3rd of the bill since he volunteered to pay for the guests that were invited? Did we need to share the burden of paying that portion of bill with him? I mean, how do other people handle situations like this, I wondered?
What's done is done, obviously. But, me being me... What lesson should I learn from this experience, what should my hubby learn as well? Is there really any lesson to be learned? And, since we all leave this earth in the end, what's the point of all these lessons...?
I think when I sit down with my next Gin and Tonic, I'll ponder this last one some more. If you'd like to join me, you're welcome. Bring your credit card :)
In the meanwhile, cheers to love, to meeting new folks, seeing new places, experiencing new things and of course, to learning life's lessons.