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And It Got Old

The end of the first month of a new calendar (Christian calendar) year always feel funny to me.

It starts off with me not realizing the month's coming to a close and ends with me having a freaking panick attack, doused with a bout of depression, a sprinkle of self pity, and rage at myself for not being where I feel I need to be already. Yup. That's how it goes.

Why do we put such pressures on ourselves to "be somebody."

I truly wonder where that need, that drive, that insatiable thirst (for the most part) for us to be the best at almost everything we set out to do comes from. Yes, there are those who aren't so driven. Some criticize them, some say they have simply found a way to be at peace with themselves... Others say they've found their bliss, their joy, and are therefore content. They've come to an understanding of the world we live in and can separate themsleves from the madness. This a long discussion I'm not sure I want to delve into, but it is very interesting stuff.

So, I'm in the middle of the freak out phase of my day. I'm feeling the edge of the crest coming up, which should mean that I'll be sliding down hill soon (this is actually good :)) and maybe I'll simply dust myself off, look around me and see that I'm actually where I need to be right now, right here, in this moment; smile, and as always, put one foot in the front of the other and hope for the best.

Question though - Given today's maddening pressure to be, have and do more, is it possible to pursue the passions of your heart without losing your mind? Can one truly be, have and do more (can you have it all? All the time.) Who decides what "having it all" means? Maybe there are no right answers; just better questions leading you, one inquiry at a time, not toward the life others (or even you) think you should lead, but to the discovery of what you truly value?

Happy New Year.

Cheers (D)


One of my favorite places ~ Ireland.

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