Pursuit of Happiness
I began this blog post a couple days ago with the title "Pursuit of Happyness", à la Will Smith's film with the same title. Then I stopped writing...
I simply wrote in the title, paused, and closed the page.
This morning, I sit across the table from one of my heros. I listen to him share his thoughts, his desires, his struggles and his determination to overcome his fears and pour himself into the things that make him happy, content, filled with love for life; in his words - "just live!"
This hero of mine happens to be a huge fan of Oscar Wilde, Charles Baudelaire and Charles Bukowskwi... Funny, the last two have the same first names. They also happen to be his absolute favorites, and the men, whose writings he feels express his inclinations more succinctly. He truly relates to them. He subscribes to their belief systems and feels we could all learn so much from these dark, brilliant men.
I'm a writer and a filmmaker. At least, I claim to be. And I love delving into the dark parts of me to prodcue work that rings true, raw, uncompromised... I find many times that I wish I was more like my heros... More like the people who "do," despite the many odds stacked against them. Someone like another of my real life heros - My Aba. I wish I was more like the writers who dare to "write!" Think about that for a minute... Daring to do, daring to write!, daring to live...
What is it that you dare to do? Or maybe wish you'd dare to do. Are you content? If not, do you have a healthy outlet for your discontent? Is it eating you up?...
I happen to love my hero's three writers as well, though I am more farmiliar with Oscar Wilde than I am with the Charles'. Here are two quotes, by the Charles', that my hero, sat across the table from me, unaware of my immortalizing this moment, shared with me. I hope you gleen something, something truly helpful, from them.
"Get Drunk. One should always be drunk. That's all that matters; that's our one imperative need. So as not to feel Time's horrible burden that breaks your shoulders and bows you down, you must get drunk without ceasing. But what with? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you choose. But get drunk. And if, at some time, on the steps of a palace, in the green grass of a ditch, in the bleak solitude of your room, you are waking up when drunkenness has already abated, ask the wind, the wave, a star, the clock, all that which flees, all that which groans, all that which rolls, all that which sings, all that which speaks, ask them what time it is; and the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock will reply: 'It is time to get drunk! So that you may not be the martyred slaves of Time, get drunk; get drunk, and never pause for rest! With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you choose!"
-- Charles Baudelaire, tr. Michael Hamburger
“My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover. ~ Falsely yours”
-- Charles Bukowski